A couple of months ago as the days and weeks were flying by, seemingly faster and faster, an awareness floated in again that I was carrying more anger, more frustration, less patience than might be ideal.
So once again, I began the process of releasing, forgiving, recognizing that every person and situation that presented itself to me was there at my request, presenting what I needed in that moment (whether I recognized it or liked it or not).
And just when I was feeling good about the awareness and my belief that I was being pro-active in dealing with my life, I got a bit of a Universal 2×4 wakeup call.
On a Friday evening, at the end of a busy but uneventful week, my body staged a coup. Digestive system discomfort the likes of which I’d not experienced before (though hindsight being 20/20, I realized later that there had been a previous, milder episode or two that I had blown off as something that did not need any attention).
This time, my body was not going to take ignore as a possibility… so when on Saturday afternoon I was still uncomfortable, Beth and I made the cross-town trip to the Metro ER where they gave me a shot that had me comfortable and perhaps a bit goofy within minutes… they poked, prodded and performed an ultrasound to confirm the Dr.’s initial belief that my body was under attack from my gall bladder.
Diagnosis confirmed, they instructed me to call a surgeon on Monday and sent me home with some additional meds to keep me comfortable.
A couple of days later, the surgeon strongly urged me to have the offending gall bladder removed asap. I agreed, knowing that once my gall bladder attacked me and laid me out for the weekend, it could never be trusted again. So surgery was scheduled for the following Monday.
As I’m prone to do, I spent a good part of the week looking at the situation for the lessons I suspected were being presented. I looked for what in my thoughts and beliefs might have contributed to creating this outcome.
At some point, it occurred to me that I had been fairly galled in many areas of my life, despite living a life that is rich with blessings, and I know it. This was more confirmation of the need for continued work to adjust my attitude, my approach, my expectations, and some release and forgiveness work.
The morning of the surgery, as I was preparing myself, the surgical team and space with Reiki I became aware of an additional opportunity that this surgery presented. So I set an intention and communicated it to the thoughts, beliefs, anger and frustration that I was carrying, that there was a bus leaving my body that morning, and I wanted them on it.
Any thoughts or beliefs that did not support my highest good. Any and all people and situations where I was holding a grudge where forgiveness was needed.. and on it went. I visualized the gathering in the area of soon to be gone gall bladder… and expressed my gratitude for the cooperation of all involved.
From my standpoint, the surgery came off without a hitch. All of the medical professionals were great! They took outstanding care of me from start to finish.
When I came out of my drug induced stupor Beth was there, and extremely stressed. She told me that the surgery had taken almost twice as long as had been estimated and that delay had her pretty stressed and worried.
But from she heard from the surgeon, it seems that when the he made the normal incisions and had the camera and equipment in place, they discovered a most unusual (and large) gall stone. It was a size and shape he’d not seen before, and and the surface of it was apparently covered in a large number of smaller gall pebbles that had joined the party. (sound familiar?)
It was stubborn in being removed, and required the incision to be expanded… and a bit more tugging and pulling that was routine.
My mind went to my shout out to all the aspects that I wanted out of my body…and the order that they get on the bus that was leaving.. and it was almost like each of those pebbles probably had a name or a situation attached to them.
As my thinking became clearer, I realized that overall, I felt incredible. Lighter, more peaceful.. so I took a little mental inventory of the people and situations that a few hours before had galled me… and felt nothing but neutral…and as the days have worn on, I’m finding that gentler state has remained.
At my 10-day, post surgery followup, I quizzed the surgeon about the somewhat unexpected gallstone. He confirmed, almost word-for-word what Beth had told me…he confirmed that he’d not seen anything quite like that before.
So I offered up for his consideration what I’ve shared above. From his facial expression and body language, I believe that my understanding and explanation may have been something he hadn’t encountered or considered before. But, given the gallstone collection he’d removed, the likes of which he’d not seen before, it seemed to make sense.
For me, whether he did or did not disagree was not of great significance. That he described ‘my creation’ in a way that made perfect sense to me and would likely have been the result of the intention I set was enough.
That post surgery, the changes that I felt were well beyond changes that the absence of a rogue gall bladder could create was most telling.
Then I realized that even if I’d not been undergoing surgery that morning, I could have had the exact same outcome just by the realizations, the intention and the release.
So if I might, I’ll make a suggestion. If you find yourself a bit galled by aspects of your life, it might be a good idea to be more pro-active than I was in the neutralizing and elimination areas. It could save you the time, trouble, expense and pain of having to have the outcome surgically removed.