Surrender, Ask, Believe, Receive.

Some years ago I reached a point in my life where I wasn’t sure things could get a lot more challenging.  My real estate business was an accurate reflection of my bad attitude and lack of direction, but also a reflection of a market that had ‘corrected’ so dramatically it looked and felt like a total crash.

In the days leading up to this moment, I had accepted a 2nd shift job at a call center near my home that would allow me to keep the lights on and some food on the table.  It was a job that my son had done in high school.  I was scheduled to begin work the next day.  It was a very humbling place to be.

I was seriously at risk of becoming a foreclosure statistic, and frankly was having a difficult time finding a shit to give about it, or much of anything else.  Not my proudest moments, not a situation I would wish on anyone, not a stretch of the journey that I care to re-visit, EVER!

One morning I was reflecting on all of that and more, when it occurred to me that it might be time to ask for help, to surrender my need to drive the bus and my now obvious false-belief that I could single handedly muscle through anything and everything that I encountered in my life.

I went to my meditation space.  I lit my candles, put on some music, assumed my position on the rug and got very quiet. I focused on my breathing and then had the most direct conversation with the Creator that I’d ever had.  To call it direct is a bit of an understatement actually.

It was the type of conversation I’d be inclined to have only inside, hoping that the bolt of lightening that might want to strike me, might be stopped if I was in the house.  But it may have been the most open, honest, no nonsense conversation ever!

I started by explaining my current struggle, (like my conversation partner did not already know all of it). I admitted that I realized that I’d done everything I knew how to do, and that clearly of myself, I was not able to ‘fix’ the situation.

So I ‘explained’ that I knew I was not put here to live in that state, that I was no longer willing to live in that way, and that I was handing back control, that I was surrendering my life and situation to a higher power.  Without any attachment to the outcome, I stated loud and clear… ‘Here’s the deal, fix it or take me home, I really don’t care which way this goes!”  I’ve never in my life meant words more than those.

That conversation complete, I shaved, showered, dressed and headed out for a meeting at the Grand Rapids Association of Realtors.  In hindsight, I think that my mood had shifted considerably, but I was no longer focused on anything but the activities of the moments I was living.

As I left that meeting, I called the broker I was associated with at the time, to inform him of a positive outcome of the meeting.

Unbeknownst to me, he had just completed the buyout of his last partner and was now the sole owner of the company.  After I congratulated him on that purchase, he went on to say that he was intending to call me that day.  He asked if I was available to meet for a drink.

We met late afternoon and over a cocktail or two, he explained that as he was in the negotiation stage of the buy out, he had been looking at what the company needed in terms of skills and personnel to take the it in the direction he wanted it to go.  He went on to say that as he explored those needs with some of his upper level managerial staff, it was pointed out to him that I possessed every skill set he was seeking.  We talked specifically about what he wanted and needed.  He went on to offer me a part-time (to start) position within the leadership of the company.  He laid out a salary level that was acceptable and we agreed upon a starting date.

I was over the moon excited. It was a company that I’d been with for over 10-years, I believed that with my experience I would be able to help him achieve his goals while at the same time taking a great deal of stress off my life.

As I was driving away, I looked skyward and sent up a big thank you!  I marveled at how quickly and powerfully my call for help had been answered.  Answered from a direction I had never imagined.

I worked in that position, which went from part-time to full time in about 20-minutes,  for over two years, and found the work to be satisfying and challenging.  We made significant changes, most of them for the good.

I believe it served me and the company well to have me in that position, until it no longer did.  But that is another story for another time.

This is not a part of my history that I’ve previously shared, except occasionally with close friends, face to face.  But it was a powerful turning point in my life that remains with me today.  The knowledge that despite my strong desire to be self-sufficient, to be the driver of my own bus, there are times that I actually don’t need to break my back to carry the load.

There are those who are seen and unseen, who if asked will throw their shoulder to the task and help me to produce marvelous outcomes.

To this day, I sometimes need to be reminded of that fact.  I cannot tell you the number of clients that I’ve challenged to ask for the help they need, trusting that it is always available to them, just for asking.

That whole surrender, ask, believe, receive thing… seems like something I can rely on.

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