On Thursday, I was talking with a Lifestyle Engineer client. It was her 2nd appointment where we were working to eliminate a long-standing, paralyzing fear of riding in a vehicle that had someone other than her at the wheel.
The 1st session had produced some powerful results, and seemingly allowed some additional things to surface that needed some discussion and possible future intervention.
The conversation, as many conversations do, came around to weight, diets, control, frustration… and the core programming that so many of us received to one degree or another around food.
It’s apparent to me that for many people, eating as not about satisfying a physical hunger and provide nourishment to the body. It’s is often about healing boo-boos of life.
Many moms raised their kids with the notion that if they cleaned up their plate, they’d be a big boy (or girl), and then rewarded the clean plate with dessert. (How could that possibly create an undesirable outcome?!?!?) . Then, if we fell off our bike or had some sort of heartbreak… a piece of cake, or bowl of ice cream would be the salve that would heal that, make the pain go away. (again, how could that possibly go wrong?!?!?!)
But over the years in working with clients, especially with the Virtual Gastric Band for weight loss, I’ve come to understand that for many mothers, food is one of their love languages.
It’s that nurturing, I’ll make it all better action based in love. I’ve never believed that there was intention to do damage, or create obese children or adults.
Until yesterday, that’s as deeply as I looked at that. It was programming that could be re-programmed. Any damage that was done, could, for the most part, be overcome.
But as we were talking about food as a love language, a new realization slapped me right in the forehead.
Those who know me know that I’ve spent a good portion of my life carrying more weight that I would prefer to carry. I’ve been up and down. I did the Virtual Gastric Band and got outstanding results, until I allowed myself to stop paying attention. After that, my attitude was more of a “who cares’… and there was not the desire or motivation to do what I KNEW beyond any doubt, would put me back in a slimmer, trimmer, healthier body.
So yesterday… as my client and I were talking… about food, how it is a love language, it became painfully obvious to me, that at least in my case, there is a connection between how loved I feel, and what I feed my body.
Of course, how loved I feel is not necessarily connected to how loved I am. Perceptions are not always 100% accurate. And as I type this, it occurs to me that the feeling of lack of love, could be a wholly interior problem. That for whatever reason, I come to points where I don’t appreciate and love myself, so…. because good food equals love… I shovel it in…. gain weight…love myself less…. rinse and repeat.
So, I’ll be spending some time in the days ahead, looking at these ideas and the, potential impact they are having on my life, and some processes that will help me change that around.
Then another fun part, will be looking at ways I can add that re-defining love into the weight loss process that has helped so many clients redefine their relationship with eating and with food.
If you have thoughts about this, as they relate to your life, feel free to comment here, or if you prefer, send me a private message or e-mail. I’d truly love to hear from you.